By JACK C. HALDEMAN HARRY HARRISON
Bill—the excellent Starship Trooper: colossal, brawny, and brainwashed. Possessor of 2 correct fingers (impressive in terms of saluting) and a foot that's threatening to show into whatever extra fitted to being an umbrella stand than whatever that may be squeezed right into a dimension eleven sneaker.
Bill—a ideal recruit for the great send Bounty, certain for the Chinger warfare and sporting a shipment of as great an organization of homicidal misfits and maniacs as you may desire to meet open air of a prison asylum (which is the place they have simply come from).
Bill, the Galactic Hero—he's again, he is undesirable, and he is approximately to fulfill the main hideous alien lifeform of his complete profession. He'd do something to save lots of his epidermis with out rocking the boat—but mutiny? at the Bounty?
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Additional info for Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Zombie Vampires
Too slowly. It was going to be a long voyage. It was an even longer lunch. He managed to clear his plate by stuffing all manner of ill-prepared okra in various pockets and hiding places — even slipping a few hunks onto Caine's plate when he was distracted. He eventually disposed of all of it and leaped on his strawberry jelly doughnut like it was the very last supper of all time. Afterwards, licking jelly from his lips, he followed Caine's directions to his quarters. Captain Blight had offhandedly mentioned that Bill was in dire need of a shower, and if he hadn't had one by the next time their paths crossed, he'd personally stuff him out an airlock and make him breathe vacuum until he learned a lesson or two about personal hygiene.
Oh, what a wondrous wakening. "Tarry not, silly ones," ordered Drekk, suspiciously coy for one of her age and mien. " They all sallied forth, trying not to giggle, and succeeding until Ram-Bam tripped over the feeble legs of a male who was floundering to get out of their way. This was too funny, and giggling turned to laughter until Drekk sniffed with offended dignity and they grew silent. Oh, the Great Hall was as they had never seen it before! Lambent flame flickered from gilt sconces on the wall, reflected from the diamond eyes of the great statue of Dingg-Bat that filled the end of the majestic Hall.
But —" 'The captain runs a tight ship," smirked Caine. "Everything goes by the book, and the book goes by the clock. " After a hurried walk, Bill sat down at the captain's table and eyed his plate with mounting suspicion. The mound of boiled okra looked a lot like the mass of limp steamed okra that snuggled up next to it. He tried the fried okra and almost broke a tusk on it. Everything in front of him was either too soggy to eat with anything but a spoon or too hard to eat period. He sighed and reached for his wine glass, took another sip of fresh-pressed okra juice.